Monday, 22 March 2010

THE ALMOST SUBVERSIVE SPRING EDITION OUT ON APRIL 1st


The coat of arms of the Metropolitan Borough of Hampstead which is being reinstated after 55 years by the Nation State of Hampstonia to replace the wasteful and incompetent Scamden.


It appears Scamden and their corrupt paymasters the British (A.K.A. Airstrip One) will soon be out of business. Why? Because the revolution starts here in the tenth edition of the Hampstead Village Voice which I finally sent off to the printers today. Phew! All this deadline stuff - It's been like another episode of Lou Grant in my front room for the last three weeks and has left me with mild insomnia and a caffeine problem. Where's Mary Tyler-Moore when you need her? Christ I could use a shag!


But for a few light duties, I'm going to have a well earned day off tomorrow, the highlight of which will be to check out the screening of the excellent "Lives Of Others" at the Hampstead Town Hall where the newly formed Hampstead Film Society has its opening night tomorrow.


STOP PRESS:

The society, which will show FREE films up to July, did have the full backing of both the Hampstead Village Voice and the newly formed Metropolitan Borough of Hampstead until we discovered they are in fact stooges for both Scamden and Her Majesty's Airstrip One. The blighters even asked Hampstonians to fill out a form asking us our racial background! Isn't it racist to discriminate between races? If you're not racist, you don't care from which race someone is, do you? The form in question does and in my book that makes it racist. It's just the sort of idiotic "Lives Of Others" nonsense one might expect from Scamden and Airstrip One. After all, to true Hampstonians, race is completely irrelevant - so such forms are simply an insult to our intelligence. Even more ridiculously the form offers us the option of being "MALE", "FEMALE" or "TRANS". So according the enemy, there are now three sexes! How stupid is that? No disrespect to those of you who consider yourself "Transexual" but the fact remains, just because you're a bit confused as to whether you are male or female, doesn't mean there is a third sex called Trans, does it? Besides, Trans means to move from one to the other suggesting you are on a journey somewhere. Surely your destination sex is the one that matters? Either way, the fact we are expected to answer such ludicrous questions in order merely to watch a film is quite beyond me and every other sane Hampstonian. Oh, and in the spirit of The Lives Of Others, all the details of those foolish enough to fill in the form will be kept on a "computerised information system". You couldn't make it up! Scamden and Britain - we wash our hands of you and your frighteningly stupid mindset. 


But I digress... To show Scamden who’s in charge, there's a Metropolitan Borough of Hampstead coat of arms on page 6 of the new Hampstead Village Voice for you to put in the window of your home, car or shop-front. If nothing else, it’ll make Scamden realize how unpopular they are and send them the clear message that they need to buck up their ideas somewhat. Fat chance. Those f***ers are in a world of their own. 


Right. Off too have a little nap. 


TTFN


Mustafa Goldsteinxxx

Editor in Tea Person 

Sex: Male

Race: Human


Monday, 15 March 2010

GUNNERS VISIT CATTO GALLERY FOR WILLOW FOUNDATION



Imogen Green [left] and Iain Barratt [right] of the Catto Gallery in Heath Street join Arsenal legend Bob Wilson and Theo Walcott with his girlfriend Melanie Slade to raise funds for the Willow Foundation which provides special, morale-boosting days for seriously ill 16 to 40 year olds. Well done them! Full story including pics of other Arsenal legends in the Spring edition of the Hampstead Village Voice out on the 1st of April 2010.

I just wrote a massive blog on how the next Hampstead Village Voice will be out on April 1st priced only £1.50 and how brilliant it's going to be; all the mega names and stories it's going to feature; loads of witty anecdotes about its glorious hampsteadness and how the Borough of Hampstead is making a come back etcetera etcetera...

And the blasted internet service provider [BT bloody OpenZone] logged me out and I lost everything!!! Testicles and sexual intercourse!

So you'll just have to trust me. It rocks. Go and buy it cos at £1.50 a copy it's a bleedin' bargain.

The Hampstead Village Voice Spring edition is out on April 1st 2010.

Your very own,

Musti G.
xxx