Run for the hills everybody - the Blue Meanies have taken over Airstrip One and most of Hampstonia too... Nothing's sacred when it comes to power, greed and making loads'a'money in what feels like 1980s Tory Britain all over again. Even Thatcher didn't dig up the Heath.
The Labour Party's in tatters and Ultra-capitalism's firmly in control of the Old Stead. Oh woe is me... Where's Michael Foot when you need him?
ALL YOU NEED IS CASH
Hampstead Heath? = £23M contract for dam builders, Atkins/Aecom.
Hampstead Homes? = £3M - £100M.
Hampstead's Saucepans? £499 at the new kitchen shop on the corner of Willoughby Road. No I'm not fucking joking. There's even a bread knife on sale there for £279.
It's all over for us mere paupers - even the criminals have nowhere to go: Hampstead Police Station? An empty shell of a building until someone comes up with £XBillion squid. It' millionaires only around here.
But at least there's the Hampstead Village Voice available while shops last for only £1 from Monday 20th of July 2015.
Hurrah! Viva Hampstonia, land of the increasingly less free!
Emmanuel Mustafa Goldstein x
Editor in debtor's prison.