If there were any lingering doubts as to whether to follow the "GOURD"or the "SHOE" they must surely now be laid to rest.
As Hampstead Village Voice writer Klaustafa von Kunstafa throws his shoe at the outgoing, self proclaimed 'leader of the western world' we ask, did George Bush go to shoe dodging classes? If not, we commend him on his superb shoe dodging technique and can only assume from his dodging skills this is not the first time he's had a shoe chucked at him.
"I don't know why this Hampstead Village Voice guy threw a shoe at me?" he claimed with a bewildered look on his face, "Maybe he was just after attention, you know, it's like when someone holds up less than five fingers in a traffic situation".
We're still trying to work out the exact meaning of that last statement but presume Mr. Bush is happy to compare the bombing of Baghdad and the murder of thousands of civilians to a minor road-rage situation.
So unsurpisingly, Mr. Bush, the reason he threw a shoe at you is because Klaustafa hates your guts for invading his country, killing his family and all his mates and objects to the very air you breathe because you are, to put it mildly, a complete c*nt.
As for Mr. K. von Kunstafa, we can only speculate as to whether we will ever see him at Hampstead Heath's buggery basin again. More likely he'll be on a flight to Guantanamo Bay via some dodgy, rat infested cellar in Syria. And knowing him, he'll love every moment. Be assured Klaustafa, you will always hold a place in the hearts of the Hampstead Popular Peoples Front. Thank you brother - you are a prevert of the highest order and beloved martyr to the cause of the HPPF.
All hail Klaustafa and follow The Shoe! The Shoe! The Shoe!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, Peace and goodwill to all men, women and little fury animals.