Wednesday, 25 March 2009

IT'S IN THE SHOPS!


This is the already unlegendary poster promoting the Spring 2009 issue of Humpsturd's least favourite magazine... 

Hoorah! The Spring Clean edition of the Hampstead Village Voice is out NOW!

Got up early (ish), had a coffee at Cafe Sneéro, then met he known only as "The Elf" for lunch at La Gaffe and it was off to the printers in Brimsdowne in Herbie-The-Hampstead-Village-Voice-Mobile A.K.A. the Elf's Volvo estate. 

He wasn't a happy little Elf by the time we got to his favourite barber shop - where we usually stop off so that he can get his hair cut for £8. Well, Hampstead's so pricey these days- and Elf's aren't paid all that well. Anyway - it was Thursday and lo and behold they still have half day bloody closing up there in Middlesex! I thought half-day closing went out of fashion with Maynard's and Fowler's in Flask Walk! But obviously not in Brimsdowne. 

So with Danny Baker blaring through the Elf's Volvo's stereo we manage to deliver some 1,300 copies of the Hampstead Village Voice to newsagents and bookshops  in Hampstead, Saff End Green, Belsize Park and West Hampstead before retiring to the Rosslyn Arms for a pizza and a beverage. I drank a lime and soda and he drank several bottles of Becks with ice and a few Café Creme cigars: well, he ain't very Elfy, is he.

Chop-chop! off you go and purchase your Hampstead Village Voice immediately! The local economy depends on it!

Mustafa Goldstein
xxx
A.K.A.. Richard Nixon Jnr..

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Apparently they've invented something called a TENGA which is essentially a 'blow-job-machine'. Have a look at Tenga.co.uk I haven't tried it but my mate 'D' says it's De Puta Madre!

TOM said...

I wish I could buy the Hampstead Village Voice in Munich! It´s the only magazine that writes about the truth. I´ve known Mustafa aka Don Wockerone aka Herman the German since the mid 80ties. He showed me the tru live in Hampstead. After a long walk in the park I had a alcohol free drink at "The Duke". What a great afternoon ;-) I had great breakfast at "The Coffee Cup" with realy bad Tea... I will never forget the flat on top of the horrible "La Gaffe". The best, sunny roof in the world!!! I nearly died when I did "Eat The Menue" at legendary "Ed`s Diner" after we had already breakfast. I couldn`t finish the last item: Tuna Sandwich. Since then I have a big belly it never went away...
I hope I can find the new issue on Ebay or somewhere else. I have to get a copy! Again, It`s the best magazine in the world. My son got offerd 50 €uro for his H.V. T-Shirt. But he so proud of it, it`s not for sale. His english getting better and better after reading this magazin...
Asta La Vista!
St. Pauli and Arsena forever!
T O M

Mustafa said...

Tom- that wasn't La Gaffe- It was Fagin's Kitchen! ;o)