Huggy and Hutch
[Antonio Fargus and
David Soul] enjoy
a night of much joy in La Gaffe
What's the point in spending £3.75 on a frothy-tripple-extra-shotty-latte-Grandé-arsebucks-decaf if you can't leaf through a vaguely interesting read whilst doing so?
Wouldn't you better better off buying the Hampstead Village Voice for £2 and drinking a single espresso for £1.90 Ed. Er...no you wouldn't. You'd still be 15p down on the deal.
And if you can't read, then why not have a leisurely butcher's at our exclusive Hampstead photos of Stevie Wonder, David Soul, Antonio Fargus, Peter O'Toole, Jurgen Klinsmann, Patrick Veieira, Thierry Henry, Robert Pires, Martin Bell and Jon Moss whilst you slurp your ristretto.
And don't you dare let those corporate robots up-sell you a "double espresso". If they do attempt such a thing, simply look them straight in the eye and, in as charming a manner as possible, ask them, "Are you trying to up-sell me a shot of caffeine, darling?" - Ed. The 'darling's optional.
Emmanuel Mustafa Goldstein
Editor in Caffeine
PS. You can now also purchase the Hampstead Village Voice in Budgens, Belsize Parkistan for £2 cashski. How very splendid.