Wednesday, 19 October 2011

The Hampstonian 2012 - Always Be Closing...

The Cover of The Hampstonian 2012 which will hit the shelves of Hampstead in mid-December features Bruce Yardley's Coffee Cup courtesy of the Catto Gallery.

I'm currently working my balls off getting the Hampstead Village Voice's prudent little sister, The Hampstonian 2012, ready for action. Indeed, there's still time to take out a an advert in The Hampstonian 2012 which will saturate Hampstead throughout Annus Olympicus and, at only £150+VAT for a full A5 page, you'd be mad - nay, utterly insane - not to take out an ad if you're a Hampstead business.

I watched David Mamet's excellent Glengarry Glen Ross again last night in order to motivate myself towards the dubious task of selling advertising. I take inspiration from Alec Baldwin's fantastic performance as the hard-hitting, bastard sales executive: "ABC - Always Be Closing! Put that coffee down. Coffee's for closers only..." Of course, I'm more like Jack Lemon than Alec Baldwin and drink too much coffee regardless of whether I've closed or not. Yet watching this film does get me into the spirit of the sales thing. Not my normal cup of tea but, hey, someone has to do it.

"A.I.D.A. Atention. Do I have your attention? Interested? Are you interested? Decision - have you made your decision for Christ! And Action... get them to sign the line that is dotted. They're out there just waiting to give you their money... are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it?" Blimey - I must have watched it a squillion times because I've learned it by heart. So what are you waiting for - it's a no brainer. £150 squid for a full page and a whole years coverage in Hampstead's favourite directory - C'mon, it isn't rocket science. No one reads the Ham&High anymore which is why I drove here on Bessy the Bicycle and you drove here in a Hyundi. Hang on? Think I got that bit wrong... Anyway, I don't wear a watch, let alone one worth $80k. What an arsehole.

To take out a page in the Hampstonian 2012 email me directly or have a quick peek at

It's a no brainer folks!

Emmanuel 'Mustafa' Goldstein
Editor in Advertising...

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