Friday, 27 May 2011

HVVTV 1 inaugural Broadcast

Co-presenters, Maria and Adina will be reading the weather for HVVTV "LIVE FROM THE COFFEE CUP" tonight! Or then again, maybe they won't...

Dearest all,
It's all go for your intrepid editor in hot-pants. Having eaten a huge and excellent pasta at La Gaffe, yours truly will head for the High Street to prepare for the inaugural recording of HVVTV [not] Live From The Coffee Cup. This will be recorded [not] live and [not] in front of a studio audience at midnight tonight. It will feature myself and love revolutionary the Bombadier Bard and will be broadcast on YouTube if it's any good.

I shall also be playing five-a-side football at 6pm and attending a community meeting at 7.30pm so had better go and get myself a siesta now. Ahh - the joys of sleeping for an hour in the middle of the day when you know the world is sweating away in some horrid office, chasing yet another pound coin! PAYE? No thank you: it's DAYP* for moi!


Emmanuel Goldstein.

*Do As You Please

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Wells Tavern Presidential Visit Stuns Locals...

And he didn't even sign the photo...

Well I never! I was somewhat surprised to see that America's first Irish Head of State Barack O'Bama didn't sign the presidential memento he left at the Wells Tavern after his surprise visit to the famous Hampstead landmark.

According to the manager of the Wells, the pub has received "hundreds" of calls as a result of our exclusive coverage of the President's previously "top secret" visit. One can only assume these "hundreds of phone calls" - and yes, that's a direct quote - came from the hundreds of transient Americans now living in Hampstead. Let's face it, no proper Hampstead local would ever believe such tripe.

A tad gullible of the old 'Septics' but one has admire their child-like enthusiasm.

For more on the Presidential visit and how he ate his burger, see pages 13 and 18 of the current edition of the Hampstead Village Voice in all good Hampstead newsagents now.


Emmanuel 'Mustafa' Goldstein
Scurrilously Misleading Editor.

Saturday, 14 May 2011


Off his bleedin' trolly!

Having published probably the best Hampstead Village Voice to date in edition 13, yours truly finds himself somewhat stuck in a rut. It isn't a writer's block exactly - more a sort of cup over-floweth, spoilt-for-choiceness situation. I simply cannot choose between whether to get edition 14 off the ground immediately, write my book, start on The Hampstonian 2012, launch my musical web-site [categorizing all my songs, albums, videos and TV appearances] or compile the Hampthology - a planned collection of the best of the Hampstead Village Voice.

You see my quandary. I've simply too much to choose from and end up doing absolutely nothing. Hurrah for doing absolutely nothing! It's time for being a fallow fellow. Allow the brain and senses to relish life's joys regardless of mere work related matters. Work to live - not live to work. Who gives a shit? Life's too short! Cappuccino's aimlessly sipped upon the High Street - yes, wasn't this why I started the Hampstead Village Voice in the first place? To stop and appreciate all the joyous things we have in Hampstead? The Heath, the cafe's, the massive great big trolly's left in the middle of zebra-crossings. Yes indeedy!

Yours non-resentfully,

Master Fer-Globules x
Hot-pants wrapped in wet panties

Watcha Hampsters, Hampsteadites and Hampstonians! After weeks banging away at publishing my new book The Joy of Addiction , I've also ma...