Tesco Stressco

Above. A small clue as to who [correction] what might be suing me come the next edition...

All go here at the Hampstead Village Voice. In talks with Sainsbury, Budgens, Waterstones and Waitrose about getting the Voice into them there shoppes. That's not how to spell shops unless you're American or live in the 16th Century. What's come over me?

Next Voice is going to be a complete cracker! Cor - I'm really hoping to get locked up this time or at least a couple of law suits.

Going to write a book too, no, two books - Toodles,

Mustafa Goldstein x

Editor in very hot-pants

PS. Last chance to advertise in next edition, email: info@hampsteadvillagevoice.com by 25th of January 2012

Sub Editor Snuffs It

He won't work for the Voice no more...

There's no particular reason why I put this picture of Luca Brasi up but it's late, I'm in Berlin and I felt I ought to do something for this ailing blog. And doesn't he look happy? I hereby name Luca Brasi ex-sub editor (in advance) of the Hampstead Village Voice.

The very splendid edition 12 is still available at Mag One, Waterstones, Hampstead Tube Station, Heath News, Village News, Holly Hill News, New End Mini Market, that news agent in Saff End Green and Mrs. Patel's in Fleet Road. Oh, and of course Shiraz's Late Night Extra in the Satellite State of Belsize Parkistan. Boycott Tesco's, slagg off Scamden and death to Highgate!

Viva Hampstonia!

EMGoldsteinxxx

Emmanuel 'Mustafa' Goldstein

Edition 12 is at the printers!

This splendid Ford Maddox Brown print of The Mount in 1860 appears in the 12th edition of the Hampstead Village Voice.

But enough of the culture! The new edition [in all Hampstead newsagents from 20th of January 2011] will also feature exclusive picture stories on Jonathan Ross, Ricky Gervais, David Baddiel, Cesc Fabregas, Ian Wright, Vanessa Feltz and Sadie Frost... I was thinking of calling it the Hello! Village Voice and just going all dumbed down and Farcebook-like on its arse but, actually, it's quite a mentally challenging edition.

Not least because of the Hampstonian Constitution - Part 1 and a potentially tricky attack on the PC Taliban [of modern day Airstrip One and the Union of Soviet Scamden Republics] presently crawling the street of Hampstead.

There's also a raunchy little story by sexy food critic Marcella Legief and mountains of art and nudism from Dr. Klaus Von Kunst. And those fellow sufferer's of Stressco will not be disappointed: there's no Tesco-Stressco but it is mentioned on pretty much every page. I really must find something else to right about - but we're still hoping to be sued by the supermarket giant [Ed. they wouldn't dare].

And then there's Wheelie Wevolting about the new residents of Hampstead, namely, the rats who are enjoying all that nosh pouring out of split, plastic bags all over the High Street. I know some of you find stories about wheelie bins a tad boring - but, like a terrier with it's teeth in Scamden's ankle, the Hampstead Village Voice will not rest until Hampstead is once again a clean and tidy place to live. So we're still pushing for a little common sense from them... (Ed. You've got more chance of winning the lottery!)

Back to the Hello! Hampstead Village Voice, I was tempted to add the balloon "Not a lot" from the mouth of Sadie Frost in a photo where an old class mate quotes the Beatles and asks, "Sexy Sadie, what have you done" but thought better of it seeing as she was with her son and from her perspective she does have a career (ed. unlike me) so it might have been hurtful [Ed. you're too soft].

More importantly, there's the wonderful A Hampstead Cat & Mouse Story by the lovely Peter Lund who sadly passed away recently. It's quite the sweetest thing I've ever read, plus my old mum really liked it and so will yours.

Right, must dash off and get to work on the new website... Yawn.

Toodle-Pip!

Mustafa Goldstein x

Editor in hot-pants.

Who's a big Boy? Summer 2010 Edition in Hampstead shops NOW!!!

Boy George very kindly poses for the Daily Hate Mail, a new sub-section of the Hampstead Village Voice which serves up some resentful bilge a la the most hideous of all the national newspapers. Yes the Daily Mail really is the most appallingly small minded publication. All it ever seems to do is slag off individuals like Boy George and Russell Brand for no reason or pick on some immigrant for moving into a two up-two down in St. John's Wood. Why shouldn't immigrants live in St. John's Wood or indeed Hampstead? And why shouldn't they claim benefits? Don't have a go at the poor immigrant for accepting a few squid within the limits of the law: have a go at H.M. Government if you're going to have a go at anyone. Oh, no, of course not. The Daily Hate Mail finds it easier to bully individuals than accuse H.M. Gov of being somewhat slack with everyones cash!

In the Summer Edition of the Hampstead Village Voice, the Daily Mail gets a taste of it's own medicine and is slagged off right and proper for being the fear mongering, xenophobic load of bollocks it is! What a horrid little paper. Did you know it supported the Nazis before Britain went to war with them? Yes it really did. That's how ghastly it is! Although it now claims to be Nazi free, it's still just about as mean as you can get without actually being a Nazi.

Also in this most glorious edition: Richard Madely buys the Hampstead Village Voice... or does he? There's the first ever picture of [almost anonymous] Mustafa Goldstein sporting an Arsenal Yamulka in Jerusalem; John Alderton says hello; Tony Parsons writes a bed time story; Klaus Von Kunst rants on about the Zebra Gallery and his uncle Günter; Ranjit Bolt does the Hampstead Rap; Sandy Markwick shares a little Hampstead History and the campaign to save the Duke of Hamilton gets full coverage... Oh, and the results of the Hampstead Village Voice Awards are published on the centre pages!

Bleedin' bargain! So off you trot to your local news vendor or Waterstones and get yourself a copy. A whole 2 squid? Yes, you're worth it!

Emmanuel Mustafa Goldstein x,

Berlin. 22.07.2010