Monday, 12 March 2012

Defending Hampstead's Trees

What a pity. See page 13 of the current Hampstead Village Voice

What would Hampstead be without its trees? They are the the thin line between unbearable urban ugliness and Hampstonian gorgeousity (ed. no such word... until now).

If I'm not mistaken, there is now only one of the originals left in the central 'island' of Church Row after another blasted lorry nudged it's neighbour over. We'll be looking at what Scamden and/or TFL could do to help preserve Church Row in the Summer edition. Until then,why don't you pop off down to your local newsagent, buy the Spring 2012 edition and read page 13?

Meanwhile, over Well Walk way, was it really necessary for Scamden to murder this lovely tree outside The Priors in East Heath Rd? See this short film sent in by Mr. David Lewis who, along with myself, has his doubts.

Viva las árboles del Hampstonia!

Toodle Pip!

Emmanuel Mustafa Goldstein x
PS. árboles = trees in Spanish

STOP PRESS: Apparently the tree became rotten as a result of previous pruning work to make it "safe".

Tuesday, 6 March 2012


Ricky Gervais enjoying Hampstead.
Pic. courtesy of Bauer Griffin

Cycling down Perrins Lane on Bessy the Hampstead Village Voice bicycle this morning, I was greeted outside the King William IV with a big Ricky Gervais smile.

"Hi Ricky," Said I.
"Hi, how's it going?" said Ricky.
"Good. Just got the new edition [of the Hampstead Village Voice] into the shops."
"Is that the official Hampstead Village Voice bicycle, then?" he grinned.
"Yep, it's the official company vehicle, all right," I returned.
"It'll end up in a museum one day," said Ricky.
"I'm more likely to end up in a museum, first," Said I.

Well, it was the best I could come up with at short notice and my future as a Hollywood scriptwriter cum chat-show guest is far from assured, but it would certainly appear Mr. Gervais has settled more comfortably into the local Hampstead community. So I hereby promote him from Hampster to Hampsteadite, just for being nice and starting to enjoy Hampstonia.

Well done, squire.


Emmanuel Mustafa Goldstein x
Self elected Chairman of the People's Republic of Hampstonia.

Friday, 2 March 2012

Huggable Hampstead

Huggy and Hutch
[Antonio Fargus and
David Soul] enjoy
a night of much joy in La Gaffe

What's the point in spending £3.75 on a frothy-tripple-extra-shotty-latte-Grandé-arsebucks-decaf if you can't leaf through a vaguely interesting read whilst doing so?

Wouldn't you better better off buying the Hampstead Village Voice for £2 and drinking a single espresso for £1.90 Ed. you wouldn't. You'd still be 15p down on the deal.

And if you can't read, then why not have a leisurely butcher's at our exclusive Hampstead photos of Stevie Wonder, David Soul, Antonio Fargus, Peter O'Toole, Jurgen Klinsmann, Patrick Veieira, Thierry Henry, Robert Pires, Martin Bell and Jon Moss whilst you slurp your ristretto.

And don't you dare let those corporate robots up-sell you a "double espresso". If they do attempt such a thing, simply look them straight in the eye and, in as charming a manner as possible, ask them, "Are you trying to up-sell me a shot of caffeine, darling?" - Ed. The 'darling's optional.


Emmanuel Mustafa Goldstein
Editor in Caffeine
PS. You can now also purchase the Hampstead Village Voice in Budgens, Belsize Parkistan for £2 cashski. How very splendid.

Watcha Hampsters, Hampsteadites and Hampstonians! After weeks banging away at publishing my new book The Joy of Addiction , I've also ma...