Paul McCartney Exclusive! OUT NOW!

Paul gives the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi a healthily sceptical look in this splendid photo by Philip Townsend currently on exhibition at

Zebra Gallery in Perrin's Court.

Yeah baby! We've finally caught a Beatle! I make no secret of being the world's No. 1 Beatle fan, so when top-notch Hampstead poet, love revolutionary and London taxi driver, the Bombardier Bard approached me with the charming story of his fab-four-fare (ed. oh please, spare us the gutter press puns) and intimate little chat with Paul McCartney, I leapt at the chance of publishing it in the Hampstead Village Voice.

It really is a lovely little piece so we've printed a few hundred extra than normal just in case. After all, anything with Paul's name on it tends to sell a bit more than you're average cup of tea (ed. not least his records).

I'll be popping down to Printline in Belsize Parkistan this afternoon to pick up the rough proofs, then hand them over to be scrutinised by our beady-eyed, all in one sub-editor, proof reader and barrister The Barroness of Rosslynshire (ed. Rosslyn Arms, more like).

Then it'll be time to put in the finishing touches and send it to the printers!

Edition 13 of the Hampstead Village Voice will be available at any decent Hampstead news agent [or Waterstones] from 15th of April 2011.

Oh God. And we've got a Farce-Book page now too. So check it out if you must... Oh, and bother, the Twitter page is called Hampstonia so if you're really, really bored indeed, you know what to do.

Hoorah!

Mustafa Goldstein x.

E. M. Goldstein

Editor.

Boy George for Breakfast.

Breakfast

I have just had a rather splendid cup of coffee with Boy George, Jon Moss and another fellow - who's name has slipped my mind - at Cafe Scrooge this morning. Alas I am sworn to secrecy as to the content of the conversation but needless to say it was all rather splendid. Jon warned George that I was a "Journalist" to which I retorted - "I'm not a journalist, I'm a satirist and don't worry mate, you're not funny enough to get into the Hampstead Village Voice". This was of course complete bollocks because between them Jon and George have appeared at least half a dozen times in Hampstead's (the world's?) favourite magazine.

Culture Club fans are certainly advised to purchase a copy of the Spring edition of the Hampstead Village Voice which will be in the shops on April 15th 2011.

Luncheon

Meanwhile, it's back to the drab chore of flogging advertising from Hampstonia's Upper House of Parliament, La Gaffe, where an annoyingly American couple have just asked me to keep my voice down whilst on the phone. I have a good mind to have them extradited to Highgate or, worse still, the Afghan-Irish Republic of Kilburn! How dare these corporate Oceanic types come to my nice clean (well it was till Scamden took it over) country [Hampstonia] and tell me how to behave in my own office! Bastards!

Toodle-Pip!

Mustafa Goldstein

Editor in Hot-Pants.

Scamden: incompetent and wasteful!

A wee while ago the USSR (Union of Soviet Scamden Republics) wasted thousands of squid on those posters and banners telling us all to love our High Street and the "rebuilding" of the Whitestone Pondshop. Meanwhile shop after shop is closing down - including their own "Environment Local" which still stands empty. And now we are looking forward to the end of the Library as we know it. Aren't Scamden and Airstrip One shit! They can't even sort out a proper refuse policy. See the current edition [12] of the Hampstead Village Voice, out now.

Toodle Pip!

Mustafa Goldstein.

Ed in hot-pants.

SCAMDEN RE-DEFINES LOVE AS THE NEW HAMPSTEAD VILLAGE VOICE HITS SHOPS FROM OCTOBER 1st 2009!

What a waste of money! £100,000  that ought to have been spent on something useful, like disbanding Scamden and reviving  the Metropolitan Borough of Hampstead or some such similar, more managable and locally accountable authority who won't make running a local business impossible and know how to keep our High Street quiet, uncluttered and tidy.

It ain't easy being the editor of your local rag, I can tell you. Especially when you take on yet another magazine called The Hampstonian - an info guide and directory for Hampstead which will be out next year. Not only that, I've gone and fallen in love - a most marvelous but very time consuming excercise when you're the Editor, Publisher, Writer, Designer, PR geezer, Delivery Boy, Sales executive and Tea Person of not one but two magazines! 

How I fit in five-a-side footy and lounging around outside coffee bars I'll never know. But I do know that I love her and the next edition of the Hampstead Village Voice is a right cracker! 

Without getting all smug, I'm particularly pleased with the 9-page special on George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four which turns sixty this year. And what with the BBC inviting the likes of Nick "Adolf-Himmler" Griffin onto Question Time to use the old - "we'll give you back your country cos it's all the fault of the non-whites" spiel, it couldn't be better timed. 

The BBC seem to have been reading the Britischen Nazional Partie's favourite local paper the Himm & Heil Express (AKA Ham & High) lately, because to invite one of Hitler's disciples onto a national television debate in the midst of a recession hit Britain that is clearly overpopulated (No - that's not a racist or nationalist comment - but you can bet that little Brown Shirted w*nker will turn it into one), is to put it mildly a little on the risky side. Still, it won't half be entertaining - especially as I don't give a shit about sodding Airstrip One (formerly Britain) anymore and will be f*****g off to a cave in Afghanistan as soon as I can get a decent price for the Hampstead Village Voice!

Enjoy the new Hampstead Village Voice which'll be out on October 1st 1984... Er 2009.

Toodle Pip and Down With Big Brother!

Emmanuel Mustafa Goldstein

Enemigo Del Hermano Grande

The next (Autumn) issue's on it's way and Wowah-Weewah what an issue it's going to be! As a purely precautionary measure we have taken the step of adding a Parental Guidance sticker on the front page. This is partly due to the rather hot photo on page 28 which in modern day Neo-con, Anti-Sex-League Britain might just shock the Jones's a bit. They don't like it up 'em those Jones's! But mainly because it's bound to sell more with an explicit content label on the front!

The good news to celebrate the recession we've lowered the price from £2 squid to only £1.50 a copy! How nice are we!

There are also two faba-dooby-tastic interviews with Lisa Stansfield and George Graham and we've got loads of hot stuff about Hampstead's new nudist colony by Klaus Von Kunst, some rather sexy pics in Bilov's Sexytime and the definitive guide for estate agents suffering the 'credit crunch'. Plus some brand new and well justified slagging off of Scamdengrad and their botch jobs in Church Row and Perrin's Court. Best of all, we've hired Tony Soprano to answer your letters like only he can. Correction! Best of all we've come up with a cunning plan to eliminate traffic wardens.

There's no malice aforethought in the timing of edition FIVE's release which is the 11th of September 2008.

We were aiming for the 8th of September but when I received the test proof back from the printers, we noticed that a picture of fellow Hampstonian, George Graham, who'd so kindly given of his time for the Autumn edition, was a little too on the orange side for our liking. So off back to the printers it's gone and will now be in the shops from September 11th.

Ah the joy of technical hitches! Keep us on our toes and keeps 'em keen on the old High Street where apparently news agents are getting bored of the question "when's the next issue out?" Have they not caught on that, in the name of Anarchy and dishevelment, our beloved Hampstead Village Voice only comes out when it's bloody well ready - which just happens to be with the change of the seasons! Think yourselves lucky we still have four seasons in Hampstead. If we were based in Spain or somewhere they only really have two seasons, you'd only get two a year!

Could this be the best ever edition? You tell us!

 Love

Musti xxx

Emmanuel Mustafa Goldstein

Enemigo Del Estado

EDITION THREE IS IN THE SHOPS

These days you can't buy a single fag in Fowlers; Maynards has gone forever; The Owl & The Pussycat is but a mere memory now, yet Flask Walk's still there...But for how long? Would we be surprised if the council built a dual carriage way here? They seem to be spending thousands on digging up roads these days. There's hardly a road in Hampstead that hasn't got some construction company drilling away... back-handers? Hmmmm...

Edition 3 of the Hampstead Village Voice is in the shops, so off you trot and buy your copy, if only for the Hampstonian's View of the World centre page poster by Helen Cusack. It's Pop-tastic!