The Vastaman Interview

A rather pleasant interview with Vas Blackwood

I must admit to being rather proud of edition 14 which celebrates 4 years of the Hampstead Village Voice. Not least because there's a most splendid interview with top actor and fellow Hampstonian raconteur Vas Blackwood A.K.A. Rory Breaker from the blockbuster movie Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels in it. Innit.

Love.

Emmanuel M. Goldstein xxx

Mustafa G

Sub Editor Snuffs It

He won't work for the Voice no more...

There's no particular reason why I put this picture of Luca Brasi up but it's late, I'm in Berlin and I felt I ought to do something for this ailing blog. And doesn't he look happy? I hereby name Luca Brasi ex-sub editor (in advance) of the Hampstead Village Voice.

The very splendid edition 12 is still available at Mag One, Waterstones, Hampstead Tube Station, Heath News, Village News, Holly Hill News, New End Mini Market, that news agent in Saff End Green and Mrs. Patel's in Fleet Road. Oh, and of course Shiraz's Late Night Extra in the Satellite State of Belsize Parkistan. Boycott Tesco's, slagg off Scamden and death to Highgate!

Viva Hampstonia!

EMGoldsteinxxx

Emmanuel 'Mustafa' Goldstein

Boy George for Breakfast.

Breakfast

I have just had a rather splendid cup of coffee with Boy George, Jon Moss and another fellow - who's name has slipped my mind - at Cafe Scrooge this morning. Alas I am sworn to secrecy as to the content of the conversation but needless to say it was all rather splendid. Jon warned George that I was a "Journalist" to which I retorted - "I'm not a journalist, I'm a satirist and don't worry mate, you're not funny enough to get into the Hampstead Village Voice". This was of course complete bollocks because between them Jon and George have appeared at least half a dozen times in Hampstead's (the world's?) favourite magazine.

Culture Club fans are certainly advised to purchase a copy of the Spring edition of the Hampstead Village Voice which will be in the shops on April 15th 2011.

Luncheon

Meanwhile, it's back to the drab chore of flogging advertising from Hampstonia's Upper House of Parliament, La Gaffe, where an annoyingly American couple have just asked me to keep my voice down whilst on the phone. I have a good mind to have them extradited to Highgate or, worse still, the Afghan-Irish Republic of Kilburn! How dare these corporate Oceanic types come to my nice clean (well it was till Scamden took it over) country [Hampstonia] and tell me how to behave in my own office! Bastards!

Toodle-Pip!

Mustafa Goldstein

Editor in Hot-Pants.

Scamden: incompetent and wasteful!

A wee while ago the USSR (Union of Soviet Scamden Republics) wasted thousands of squid on those posters and banners telling us all to love our High Street and the "rebuilding" of the Whitestone Pondshop. Meanwhile shop after shop is closing down - including their own "Environment Local" which still stands empty. And now we are looking forward to the end of the Library as we know it. Aren't Scamden and Airstrip One shit! They can't even sort out a proper refuse policy. See the current edition [12] of the Hampstead Village Voice, out now.

Toodle Pip!

Mustafa Goldstein.

Ed in hot-pants.

Edition 12 at shops on Tuesday 18th Jan

Everyone's on about Ricky Gervais so it's a good job I got an exclusive photo in tomorrow's Hampstead Village Voice [edition 12] which you can buy for only 84.00 Rubles from any Hampstead news agent.

Tony Parsons just twittered about how good Ricky was at the Globes last night and my mate Howard even phoned to praise his neighbour's irreverence to the great and the good.

Talking of Twitter, I'd thought I'd give it a go. Somehow less offensive than Farcebook, don't you think? Have a twit (is that what you say?) at Mustafa Goldstein at "Hampstonia".

Toodle Pip!

EMG.

Emmanuel Mustafa Goldstein.

Editor in Hot-Pants.

Edition 12 is at the printers!

This splendid Ford Maddox Brown print of The Mount in 1860 appears in the 12th edition of the Hampstead Village Voice.

But enough of the culture! The new edition [in all Hampstead newsagents from 20th of January 2011] will also feature exclusive picture stories on Jonathan Ross, Ricky Gervais, David Baddiel, Cesc Fabregas, Ian Wright, Vanessa Feltz and Sadie Frost... I was thinking of calling it the Hello! Village Voice and just going all dumbed down and Farcebook-like on its arse but, actually, it's quite a mentally challenging edition.

Not least because of the Hampstonian Constitution - Part 1 and a potentially tricky attack on the PC Taliban [of modern day Airstrip One and the Union of Soviet Scamden Republics] presently crawling the street of Hampstead.

There's also a raunchy little story by sexy food critic Marcella Legief and mountains of art and nudism from Dr. Klaus Von Kunst. And those fellow sufferer's of Stressco will not be disappointed: there's no Tesco-Stressco but it is mentioned on pretty much every page. I really must find something else to right about - but we're still hoping to be sued by the supermarket giant [Ed. they wouldn't dare].

And then there's Wheelie Wevolting about the new residents of Hampstead, namely, the rats who are enjoying all that nosh pouring out of split, plastic bags all over the High Street. I know some of you find stories about wheelie bins a tad boring - but, like a terrier with it's teeth in Scamden's ankle, the Hampstead Village Voice will not rest until Hampstead is once again a clean and tidy place to live. So we're still pushing for a little common sense from them... (Ed. You've got more chance of winning the lottery!)

Back to the Hello! Hampstead Village Voice, I was tempted to add the balloon "Not a lot" from the mouth of Sadie Frost in a photo where an old class mate quotes the Beatles and asks, "Sexy Sadie, what have you done" but thought better of it seeing as she was with her son and from her perspective she does have a career (ed. unlike me) so it might have been hurtful [Ed. you're too soft].

More importantly, there's the wonderful A Hampstead Cat & Mouse Story by the lovely Peter Lund who sadly passed away recently. It's quite the sweetest thing I've ever read, plus my old mum really liked it and so will yours.

Right, must dash off and get to work on the new website... Yawn.

Toodle-Pip!

Mustafa Goldstein x

Editor in hot-pants.