Saturday, 13 October 2018

Editor Gets Scrunched by BID Chairman.

The Autumn Edition 2018

Albeit the autumn issue focusses mainly on rubbish of the Veolese variety, there are also two exceptionally feisty reports on the Hampstead Village BID Ltd which, were you to ask local businesses what they thought of it, they'd almost certainly answer 'Rubbish!' 
   Well, at least 70% would. We know this because a) despite grandiose claims from Camden Cllr. Richard Olszewski in the Ham&Eggs that "a majority of businesses" voted for the thing, in reality only 30% of the eligible 243 businesses actually did and b) we conducted a poll of 100 businesses which resulted in over 75% being vehemently against the thing. And when I say vehemently, I mean as in Gauls versus Romans. So we can't wait for the next ballot now everyone knows what it does... or rather doesn't do.
   You see, the main story in the current edition is about how a) the BID's chairman violently scrunched this magazine's editor's hand and phone in Back Lane last June and b) the whole BID thing is an utterly pointless exercise. Unless of course you're the BID's CEO who receives a stipend of up to £40k a year. What the chairman gets out of it other than getting to physically abuse local rag editors or going down in everyone's estimation is anyone's guess. Read on...
Toodle Pip! 
Emmanuel 'Mustafa' Goldstein.
Editor (bruised).

The follow up story, which is almost certainly twice as good, is in the Hampstead Village Voice, at newsagents and splendid bookshops now for £2.

Thursday, 9 August 2018

Awfully Sorry. Forgot All About This Blog.

The Summer Edition is still in the shops...

Howdy Hampsters,

Sorry! I actually forgot all about this blog thing and so neglected to report on arguably our best ever edition of the Hampstead Village Voice, still in newsagents now. 
   What with my band Ridiculous playing its debut gig at the Dublin Castle in June, the completion of my book The Joy of Addiction in July and all the legwork that accompanies said projects – not to mention getting the summer edition out – the blog has slipped down the old priority list somewhat.
   And there was that Giles Coren purple patch in which your man got Rupert Murdoch to pay for our dinners at Café Hampstead and we both gleefully reviewed the restaurant. Giles in the The Times and moi in the Hampstead Village Voice. Happily, I also coaxed the Coren into writing the Forward to my book. Now all I need is a literary agent and a publisher. S'ppose I'll have to make some sort of effort to go and get one.
  Equally happily, Mr. Coren sang the praises of your favourite local satirical rag in his piece so, seeing as it's raining, I'll stick a scanned version up here for the weekend in case you missed it. 
   He called my piece a "jolly read" and as usual his is too.

Viva Hampstonia and toodle Pip!

Emmanuel 'Mustafa' Goldstein.
Ed/singer/author/tea person.

Gilesy baby does a little Hampy Voice service and writes a jolly piece.
Zoom in to read...

Note to Rupert Murdoch: to sue for copyright infringement, please send a postcard to: 
Emmanuel 'Mustafa' Goldstein, 
1 London Bridge Place London SE1 9GF. 

Monday, 26 February 2018

The Spring Edition Takes No Prisoners

The spring edition has a real humdinger of a cover story that exposes the Hampstead Village BID Ltd for forcing a much loved, state-funded institution into paying its gratuitous levy. Worse still, the BID forces the council to force this state funded institution into paying it. The Spy calls for an end to this nonsense and a change to the legislation that allows it.
   Yet more of a coup, we welcome broadcaster, former MP and top writer Martin Bell as a regular columnist and he'll be sharing with us his most original View From The Burb. 
   And there's a rather special interview with song writing legend Ken Howard who penned songs for Elvis, wrote a BBC play about John Lennon and, rather handilly, lives downstairs from Hampstead Village Voice editor Emmanuel 'Mustafa' Goldstein. 
   We've top stories from renowned writers Red Szell and Charles Harris and there's the latest goss on Ye Old White Bear, Burgh House, The Ladies' Pond and Hampstead's splendid new jazz venue, Hampstead Lounge & Jazz Club.
   Mr. Goldstein indulges in a new column called Corporate Watchdog in which he exposes the deserving household names of corporate Britain with an iron fist: AA Home Insurance? You're Better Off With The Burglars pretty much does what it says on the packet.
   With Klaus von Kunst rounding up the Arts scene, Carla Le Pond Antoinette deciphering transgender politik and the Ministry of Silly Names on page something or other... it's the issue that will have you wrapped in an enigma in a riddle in a mystery.
Viva Hampstonia and Toodle pip!
Emmanuel 'Mustafa' Goldstein.

Watcha Hampsters, Hampsteadites and Hampstonians! After weeks banging away at publishing my new book The Joy of Addiction , I've also ma...