Slight Delay... Out on 14th December 2011

Whoopsie daisy! There's been a slight delay due to "printer error" and "distribution malfunction" - Well, isn't that the contemporary way of passing the buck and denying responsibility for things these days? Always someone else's fault isn't it!

The truth is, I got the publishing date a bit wrong and didn't organise Dave the Elf with his Volvo estate properly! Yes, it was me... I did it! I'll take the wrap! Guilty as sin...

Fortunately, as this is an annual release, two days is more like ten minutes in the grand scheme of things so, what ho!

Toodle Pip,

Emmanuael Mustafa Goldstein,

Late for school as usual...

The Hampstonian 2012 - Out On 12-12-11

Yep, the Hampstonian 2012's almost ready to go - that's if I can find my proof reader, Dianne, who's gon AWOL. Essentially more of the same but I've changed the layout so that all the editorial's up front and all the ads apart from premium and charity ads are at the back. Much tidier.

Also I've changed a lot of the pictures in the Art & Museum section and John Graham's up-dated all the pubs.

Surprising how much work goes in to tweaking. Photo processing and such like. Not to mention chasing up advertisers for new artwork and invoices. But I think I'll have it off to the printers in time. Phew!

Oh and it's gone up to £2.00 - Less than the price of a cappuccino.

Christ! All my mags now cost £2.00

Toodle Pip,

Emmanuel "Mustafa" Goldstein

Two Bob Editor

Hampstead 11.11.11

Naturally I shall be enjoying my elevensies at Mani's at 11am 11.11.11 and will be wearing corduroys to reflect 11.11.11. After all, it's the date that looks like a pair of corduroys.

Viva Hampstonia!

Emmanuel Mustafa Goldstein xxx

Editor in Corduroys

The Hampstonian 2012 - Always Be Closing...

The Cover of The Hampstonian 2012 which will hit the shelves of Hampstead in mid-December features Bruce Yardley's Coffee Cup courtesy of the Catto Gallery.

I'm currently working my balls off getting the Hampstead Village Voice's prudent little sister, The Hampstonian 2012, ready for action. Indeed, there's still time to take out a an advert in The Hampstonian 2012 which will saturate Hampstead throughout Annus Olympicus and, at only £150+VAT for a full A5 page, you'd be mad - nay, utterly insane - not to take out an ad if you're a Hampstead business.

I watched David Mamet's excellent Glengarry Glen Ross again last night in order to motivate myself towards the dubious task of selling advertising. I take inspiration from Alec Baldwin's fantastic performance as the hard-hitting, bastard sales executive: "ABC - Always Be Closing! Put that coffee down. Coffee's for closers only..." Of course, I'm more like Jack Lemon than Alec Baldwin and drink too much coffee regardless of whether I've closed or not. Yet watching this film does get me into the spirit of the sales thing. Not my normal cup of tea but, hey, someone has to do it.

"A.I.D.A. Atention. Do I have your attention? Interested? Are you interested? Decision - have you made your decision for Christ! And Action... get them to sign the line that is dotted. They're out there just waiting to give you their money... are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it?" Blimey - I must have watched it a squillion times because I've learned it by heart. So what are you waiting for - it's a no brainer. £150 squid for a full page and a whole years coverage in Hampstead's favourite directory - C'mon, it isn't rocket science. No one reads the Ham&High anymore which is why I drove here on Bessy the Bicycle and you drove here in a Hyundi. Hang on? Think I got that bit wrong... Anyway, I don't wear a watch, let alone one worth $80k. What an arsehole.

To take out a page in the Hampstonian 2012 email me directly info@hampsteadvillagevoice.com or have a quick peek at http://www.hampstonian.co.uk/aboutus.html

It's a no brainer folks!

Emmanuel 'Mustafa' Goldstein

Editor in Advertising...

The Classic Indian Summer

An Indian Summer in Hampstead

I say, what lovely weather we're having. Most very splendid indeed. What the bloody hell am I doing sitting here in front of a screen when I could be out in the sun, sipping iced coffee and people-watching on the Costa Del Hampstead? Say no more. Cor blimey Guvnor and Toodle Pip!

Emmanuel "Mustafa" Goldstein

Eddington Winthrope of Hampstonia

PS. Sales booming - get edition 14 from a newsagent near you whilst you still can. By Jove, it'll be the best £2 Squid you ever spent*

*Does not include the $2 you spent in that two-dollar brothel in Vietnam in 1967 whilst you were out there Napalming small villages: terms and conditions apply. Please consult your pharmacist before reading the bottle.

The Vastaman Interview

A rather pleasant interview with Vas Blackwood

I must admit to being rather proud of edition 14 which celebrates 4 years of the Hampstead Village Voice. Not least because there's a most splendid interview with top actor and fellow Hampstonian raconteur Vas Blackwood A.K.A. Rory Breaker from the blockbuster movie Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels in it. Innit.

Love.

Emmanuel M. Goldstein xxx

Mustafa G

Edtion 14 out Wed 07.09.11

The Hackfather

Phew! Edition 14 of the Hampstead Village Voice - out on Wednesday the 7th of September 2011 - is at the printers and I, for one, am mighty relieved. And, I may add, overjoyed because it's one hell of a good issue. Let's face it there's been plenty to satirise of late both locally and in Airstrip One.

For starters, as a nod to the downfall of Mr. Murdoch's already dubious reputation at the Ministry of Truth, we've added "Hello Humpstead - incorporating The New End Of The World" a centre page pullout, which I'm rather proud of. We deplore witch-hunting here at the Hampstead Village Voice, but when it comes to arse-holes like Murdoch and his Ignorance Is Strength version of "news", burning's not good enough for 'em!

I'm not going to go on too much about the rest of the content other than to say it's a jolly good read - especially if you only like pictures!

Go and buy it.

Toodle Pip!

Emmanuel Goldstein. xx

Enemy of big Brother.