SUB-MISSIVE HAMPSTEAD

WE CAN SMELL IT ALREADY...

McCRACKDONALD'S TO GIVE WAY TO SUB-STANDARD SANDWICH?

It isn't even open and we can smell it already. The above, somewhat misleading poster might have builders wandering aimlessly around Hampstead for days.

by Emmanuel 'Mustafa' Goldstein.

It would appear McCrackDonald's regular advertisement on a redundant Hampstead telephone box has been superseded by one for the even smellier fast-food outlet, Subway. 

    Unless, as the wholly inaccurate arrow pictured above suggests, Subway intends to move into Gap Kids or Barclays Bank, it is an obvious clue as to the identity of the new tenants of Ronald McDonald's 'Crack House'.

   According to the Hampstead Village Voice’s High Street Spy, the venue, which previously played host to both Pizzaland and Europa Foods, has always been home to somewhat smelly and down-market establishments. So it appears that 'why change the habit of a lifetime' is the motto of the landlords at 46 Hampstead High Street.

   A spokesman for the Metropolitan Borough of Hampstead admitted, “It would probably have been better off staying as a McDonald’s. Whenever one goes into or near a Subway anywhere in the world it smells ghastly… quite repulsive. What on earth do they put in their food?”

   William Ill’s across the road now have Subway at 1/100 to take over, so if you want a Big Crack and Flies you’d better hurry on over to Ronnie’s now. 

I never thought I'd say this, but We'll almost miss McCrackDonalds.

Emmanuel 'Mustafa' Goldstein is the author of the new book Hampstead Faces, Volume 1, available at all Hampstead book shops now. http://www.hampstonian.co.uk/page_2981086.html